Something to think about: Several studies point to the fact that the highest-functioning workplaces and marriages have a ratio of positive feedback to constructive feedback of 5:1. What might change if we all offered words of appreciation five times as often as we criticized?
Let’s talk!
Respond with a Loom video here.
Send me a voice memo / text message on WhatsApp here.
Or reply to this email (or email miki@leadingbyexample.life if you’re reading this online)
0:00 Hey there. So I went to this Jackson Browne concert on Saturday with my mom and a couple of her friends and I just kind of can't stop thinking about some things that happened when we were there. So I just kind of want to share them because I feel like they shifted something for me.
0:20 This is up in Columbus. It was in this beautiful, beautiful old theater and we were way up high, you know, in the cheap seats and so it was this, you know, like really, really steep stairs with no railings to get up to our seats. And I haven't been in big crowds a whole lot since the pandemic.
0:39 And, you know, it was just kind of, we had to find parking and it was a little hectic. So we got there and it was like a little like, ooh, you know, whatever.
0:45 And then we like got in our seats and I just, I had that experience of like, I don't know if you ever had this, but like, it sort of went from like, we're in a crowd and like, I could just see that.
0:53 And then once I sat down and I started looking around and I could start seeing like, people, like individual, you know, couples and groups and just sort of like noticing individuals.
1:06 I just, like throughout the night kept having this kind of overwhelming feeling of, just, like, appreciation. Like I’m emotional about it now.
1:19 Like, I don't know. There was like this. This older guy—I was by far one of the youngest people there—and there was this older guy who could barely walk up the stairs and there were these like really sweet boys with him that were probably his grandsons, you know, in their like maybe 30s, 20s.
1:35 Just like super attentive and helpful and like all these people around him, like helping him get up into these like very precarious, you know, like hard to get into seats and he just like enjoyed it so much.
1:47 And then like when the show started like, just like the care that the musicians took for each other. And for the people that were there.
1:58 Gosh.. I don't know like it was funny like you could tell that he sort of knew his audience was in their 60s and 70s.
2:05 They did a two-hour set, but they took like a 30 minute intermission in the middle. So everyone could go pee.
2:10 You know, and get more drinks. And stuff like that. And they just. Like he was like he was, Jackson Brown, especially he was just so like gracious, like so kind to everyone in his band and his like the guy who like tunes his guitars.
2:27 I don't know, I just, I got to thinking about how I don't know if humans, I would never say humans are like the only animals that can like appreciate something.
2:40 I'm sure a dog gets a wash of, you know, happiness, right? When it like rolls in the dirt or whatever. But I think there's something special.
2:49 I think it's one of our special gifts that we can appreciate things because I think there's something about our consciousness that allows us to understand that it's possible that we wouldn't have these things.
3:07 That we haven't had these things before, that other people haven't had these things, that they might go away, and we might not have them anymore.
3:17 And, yeah, just like, I don't know, it's really the last couple of days, it's been like really just thinking about
3:26 giving my attention to appreciation. Like what it means to just, really be aware of the things that we have.
3:39 And that bringing that awareness to things is, I don't know, like a really special thing that we can.
3:47 And do as people. And yeah, you know, I mean, there's lots of research out there that gratitude practice is like one of the most just uniformly
4:00 helpful things for all people and makes us feel better and certainly it makes other people feel good to be appreciated.
4:07 But just thinking of it as this, I don't know, this thing that's just like valuable in and of itself. What we can do and I don't, I don't have a lot to say beyond that except that I feel like it's really doing something inside of me.
4:27 To try to be in a place of appreciation as much as possible. So yeah, thanks for listening and I appreciate all of you for being here.
4:36 I don't know if you all know this, but this is not a very widely read newsletter. Like I basically hand chose people that I wanted to be on this journey with me.
4:47 So I appreciate you being here. Thank you.
Appreciation for Appreciation